


Infatuation

by TroubleMoi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Makeup artist Levi, Obsession, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17861666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleMoi/pseuds/TroubleMoi
Summary: In his thirty-seven years of life, Erwin would never have expected himself to be so entertained by make-up tutorial videos.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That's what happens when you spend your time watching tutorials on youtube...

Erwin prepared his late night snack carefully. He grabbed one of his treasured bags of potato flavoured chips and emptied half the packet in a white ceramic bowl, he took a fresh can of beer and gathered everything on a tray, ready to be brought in front of his computer. He settled comfortably in his chair, arranged the brightness of his computer's screen so he would not miss one bit. Erwin fidgeted in his seat, like a puppy ready to receive his treat, his mood considerably changing now that he was finally at home. He waited impatiently the whole week for this. It might seem sad for a lot of people to spend one's Friday night, alone, at home, in front of a screen. But Erwin couldn't be more ecstatic. He checked the volume level quickly before eagerly clicking on the arrow-shaped icon that serves as a play button. Soon enough, the guitar's notes of the latest pop-rock band could be heard and a black background appeared in which pink glittery letters materialized to form a name: QueenLee. Then the background switched to a room full of metal and rock bands posters and in the middle of the focus was the most beautiful face Erwin has ever seen.

"Hello everyone this Levi and welcome back on my channel." The young man greeted with a sultry low voice and a captivating gaze amplified by dark shadows around his glinting eyes. "So today, I will teach you how to perfect this dark makeup look. If you wanna learn how to do it, keep watching." Erwin nodded, hypnotized by the gaze of the young man on the screen.

***

In his thirty-seven years of life, Erwin would never have expected himself to be so entertained by make-up tutorial videos. It was far from being a hidden secret, a second life he never dared to live. No, not at all. There was obviously something else attracting the man to watch tons of these videos without getting bored to death. Actually, his main interest centred around the young man giving those makeup tips. Levi. At least, it was what Erwin assumed his name was from the comments. And Erwin couldn't think about anything else besides the fact that the man was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. The blond would lie if he didn't enjoy watching this Levi paint his perfect features with all sort of colours and shades. He was quite talented at transforming himself into an absolute meal, that Erwin wished to devour all night long and the morning after. He was hooked. 

It happened by chance, really, how he ended in the young man's channel. He caught one of his female colleague watching one of the makeup artist's video, during her lunch break. Erwin glanced at her screen as he passed by to refill his mug and when he came back with a full mug of dark hot liquid, he had stopped at the sight of the dark-haired man on the screen painting his pouty lips with cherry colour lipstick. The act itself causing Erwin's breathing to become a little more arduous. Also, the seductive gaze that the man threw at his audience while doing it didn't help either. 

Erwin didn't think much of it because he always considered himself to be a heterosexual man, in the sense that he had always been strictly romantically involved with women and he never saw himself in a relationship with something else. However, he couldn't deny the strange same-sex fantasies that disturbed his younger days or the shameful act that happened between him and one of his teammates behind a closed locker room. Though, it was insignificant in Erwin's eyes. As insignificant as the reason why his gaze would linger more on the male's attributes rather than the female's while looking for quick relief in the form a subjective video.

But Erwin couldn't also deny that something attracted him. Perhaps it was the makeup which enhanced his very androgynous appearance - Erwin had to double glance before affirming that the person in the video was a man indeed- he just had this feminine and feline aura. He almost looked dangerous with his cat-like eyes and dark hair. Dangerous enough to waken something back in Erwin's unconscious mind.

It was a few weeks later when he surprised once again the same coworker checking out his video that Erwin found out that maybe his attraction went beyond the red of his lips. In this video, his face was bare, the extravagant colours nowhere to be found and though, he looked different Erwin was quite sure it was the same person. In this one, you could see red spots on his unperfect skin, his clear eyes were now accentuated by dark circles below them rather than above, his pouty mouth so vivid last time, was a natural pale rosy colour and his hair which was styled push back, was left hanging on his forehead. Erwin's brain disconnected for a few seconds. He didn't realise that he had halted behind his colleague for too long to be considered appropriate. He reclaimed control of his motion when she caught him staring. One second, it was all he had to come up to justify the reason he was behind her this long during the break. 

"I am sorry Samantha, do you mind sending me the file of the Greek restaurant client, please? I need to check something." His face schooling into his general stoic expression, professional and commanding. 

"Yeah sure." She quickly changed the window to her mailbox and with a quick work of her fingers she sent the required document. She turned towards him with a wide smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Erwin received the cue and went on his way. 

"Thank you." He said to her as he tried to not forget the name he caught on the video before she switched to her mailbox page. 

As soon as he entered his office back he wrote the name on his notebook. 

QueenLee.

***

The same night, while Erwin was heating up Chinese takeaway he bought the day before, he wrote the name in the search bar. A dozen of videos showed up, a lot of them focused on make-up tutorials but there were also other videos with more personal subjects. It ranged from his first love story to his weekend in Paris, to his worst date ever. Erwin didn't know where to begin. He didn't really care but he was quite fond of watching the man painting his lips so he just randomly clicked on one of his make-up tutorials. This one was called "How to look like a bad bitch." He let the video load and went to look for his noodles bowl. As soon as he was settled back in his chair, he pressed play.

"Hello, gorgeous this is your fave bad bitch Levi." He greeted with his low sultry voice and a sassy hand gesture. He was already wearing a bright colour makeup on his face that enhanced his natural features. Erwin wondered how a man could look so delicate and fierce at the same time, he was truly something. "So today, I am going to teach you how to achieve this magnificent look." He pointed at his face with a darkly painted finger. "So let's get started." Then the image switched to a bare face Levi, he showed every product before he demonstrated how to apply them correctly. He talked about primer, concealer, contouring and all these terms Erwin was not familiar with. But he didn't mind at all, he was just there to observe his beautiful face in all possible angles. Weirdly enough, Erwin found himself enjoying the video. Plus, he found Levi's voice quite soothing and agreeable to listen to, it was such a contrast with his steady scowling gaze. He might look mean or intimidating from the outside but the young man was quite friendly and down-to-earth. Erwin chuckled quietly when the makeup expert rolled his eyes as his face blending didn't go as expected. Erwin had absolutely no idea what he was doing but he was enjoying all his mimics. Like how he clicked his tongue when he failed at doing a step or all these little comments he burst out when he got frustrated, such as"Why does God hate me so much?" or " That is what you get for being a salty bitch all the time." all this in a completely self-deprecating way. 

When he administered his final touch, he looked straight at the camera while batting his extended eyelashes, pouting his vivid mouth, angling his face differently to show the result. "Nobody will resist you with that look." He promised in half-serious tone and Erwin's mouth became a little bit drier as he received electroshock between his legs. No resistance whatsoever that was for sure. The young man flaunted his pretty face some more while his voiceover concluded the video. "Ok guys so this is the final look. I hope you guys like it and all the products information are in the information box below. Don't forget that you are a queen. Love you." He blew a kiss before it ended.

Erwin breathed out heavily before going back to the kitchen to heat up his forgotten plate once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments ^^  
> I thought about writing this for a long time but I didn't know if people would be interested in that kind of story.  
> I am happy to see I was wrong lol. Enjoy!

It became somewhat a routine to study Levi's face on Friday nights. Erwin had already binge-watched the existing videos in less than two weeks and now he expected the new content at the end of every week.  
An unexpected new hobby for a man who has been engulfed by his work for too long. For someone who has stopped dreaming since the day he became an adult, his nights were more colourful than ever, consumed by rosy cheeks, ardent lips and dark eyes. 

It made him look forward to something. 

Though he waited patiently that each day progress, Erwin wasn't in agony. His cute influencer was really clever, Levi was clever. He possessed other social media accounts in which he was more active and one, in particular, where he has been updating on a daily basis. Erwin then naturally made an account on this one. Clearly ironical for a man who ignored every person telling him he should make a social media account and be part of their internet circle for years. He never had bothered. But for Levi, he would.

It was more complicated than Erwin thought it would be. But he told himself if million people are using it, he would also be able to. So He hung in there and after an hour and some manipulation, his account was created. The blonde might be creative and insightful when it comes to work-related challenges but when he is supposed to come up with a pseudonym the only thing that emerged from his mind was his late dog's name, Alfie, followed by eighty-four, the year of his birth. He chose his favourite picture of Alfie as his profile image and then was ready to explore this chasm of endless pictures. And he was not disappointed. 

When he searched Levi's profile, he discovered a hundred pictures and most of them were of Levi's beautiful face and Erwin thanked a god he never believed in before he gleefully clicked on each of them. Like a child in front of myriad sweet-looking candies, he didn't know where to look at. Levi looked more delicious as he scrolled by his feed. What struck Erwin the most though was how dark the theme of the pictures was; Levi wore mostly dark outfits which contrasted with his pale skin and bright make-up. It made him look more sensual and mysterious. In Erwin's imaginary, he reminded him of one of those vampires in teenager movies who were sexier than scarier, the kind who would remove their shirt before biting you on the neck. And those eyes, Erwin wouldn't know how to act if he would dare look at them in real life. 

A lot of pictures consisted of Levi's face close-up, to apparently showcase the colours on his face. But he interestingly had a lot of pictures where he hung on with his friends, at a bar, a restaurant, in the park or on a random couch. When Erwin fell onto a picture where Levi stood up, he was rather surprised to notice that the makeup artist wasn't so tall. At least compared to the other dirty blond guy in the picture, he looked rather tiny. Erwin's heart melted a little more. As he scrolled down though, a crease began to form between Erwin's eyebrows. The dirty blonde "friend" was quite present in Levi's pictures. Something ugly stirred in him and he began an investigation to know more about this friendship. They weren't doing anything romantic in the pictures but still, Erwin searched for evidence to prove his suspicions. No lovey-dovey captions nor heart-shaped comments, Erwin exhaled slowly a sigh which had been caught in his throat for too long.

It was a small victory. But Erwin wasn't so naive, someone like Levi would not be alone, at least not for too long. Levi was such a beauty, his face full of colours or not. In one hand, it felt like with his red lips and dark eyes he could take over the world and make you do anything with just a gaze. And on the other hand with his bare face, he appeared so real and raw and intimate and Erwin would also give him the world without a second thought. He was just equally in love with both images. 

Besides Levi was more than just a beautiful face when he wasn't flirting in front of the camera with his latest make-up look, he had rather interesting stories to narrate. While some of them were fun and light-hearted others were quite alarming. Erwin was rather surprised by how eloquent the young man was while talking with this kind of topic. He would generally let his sassy behaviour on the side, to allow a sober personality. He would also be bare-faced, not wanting to divert attention from the story. But Erwin would be a liar if whatever Levi looked like, he wouldn't be the main character of Erwin's intern and shameful stories.

That Friday, Levi detailed the bullying problem he had in school. The pale man introduced the subject with a rather detached expression and an even tone as if this story which happened to him a few years ago, didn't affect him anymore. But Erwin realized as he went on with the story, he wasn't completely healed from the trauma he endured. It was especially obvious as his speech became more and more passionate and his voice wavered slightly. 

"...They cornered me in the bathroom and ..." Levi paused and looked into nothingness, it was as if he just realised that something like this should have never happened in the first place, no matter the reason. He took a deep breath before going on with the unsettling story. " They fucking beat the shit out of me. I was a fucking mess when my mother brought me back home." He chuckled bitterly. "And then you know what is worst? the fucking school expelled me." He pointed at himself in disbelieve. " Just because I was proudly wearing makeup and didn't hide that I was fucking gay!" Levi cried, his eyes glinting with indignation. "I couldn't do shit because you know I was fucking poor. But I hope every one of these motherfuckers who made my life a misery, the students, the teachers, the administration are going to fucking burn in hell." 

Erwin was appalled, blaming a teenager for his own assault because he was different and then expelling the victim to wipe out the issue? Truly disgusting. Though it happened a few years ago, it didn't remove the seriousness of the situation. 

"Ok guys this storytime is coming to an end. But before finishing this video, please, please if you are a victim of this kind of abuse, please seek help. And if you think that you cannot trust your school, please find help outside, go to your parents, the police, your neighbour, whatever but talk to someone. And if you are a witness please act, don't stay silent." He pressed his small hands together in front of him to emphasised his message. "That is the end. Thank you, everyone, for your kind messages for my last video about my coming out video. I really do appreciate each of them. Don't forget you are a queen and you deserve the world." He sent his signature goodbye kiss. "Take care of yourself, see you next Friday." The video ended and Erwin felt uneasy. It was the first time he saw the man in such a vulnerable state and it didn't sit right with Erwin. He wanted to do something, he needed to but how? He didn't know him personally and could not comfort him as he would like to. That is when something clicked inside Erwin's mind. 

He pushed his plate to the side and brought his computer closer to him.  
He dove into the comments section and was relieved to see that it was full of supporting messages. "You are so courageous.", "It was better for you to get the fuck out this school they were all trash anyway." or " Levi you look so beautiful even when you are sad." Erwin couldn't disagree but it wasn't the time for his mind to wander. The blonde took a deep breath before typing on his keyboard which was way too small for his big fingertips. 

"Hello, Levi. I was really touched by your story and I just wanted to tell you how brave you were to endure those bullies and for all these years. I am happy that you didn't give up on your passion because of them, it takes a lot of courage. You are a real inspiration for people who struggle to embrace who they are completely. Keep going. And by the way, you are absolutely gorgeous." Erwin grimaced as he typed the final words, this was definitely corny as hell and ridiculous was the first word that came to his mind to describe himself in this situation. He acted as if he was sending a risky text to his crush but the reality is that Levi would probably never see the ludicrous note and the message would probably be lost among the thousand other messages. Erwin re-read his words for good measure, half-thinking he should delete it and spare the humiliation. Erwin thought about how Levi looked so hurt in his video and a surge of confidence took over his being. Because at the end of the day Levi deserved every positive message. With this last thought and a click, Erwin fell asleep.

 

***

The next day, Erwin woke up gradually, his alarm long forgotten for the weekend. He reminisced about the errands he should make this same day as he poured himself a cup of coffee. But he almost choked on the hot liquid when he remembered he had lunch with Mike and Nana. Not knowing what time it was, he went back to his room to check the time on his phone. That is when he noticed something odd on the screen, one of his new application had a red alert and when he clicked on it, his eyes widen. 

"Thank you so much. :)"  
-QueenLee


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late.  
> Life is a mess but at least there is Eruri.

Exaltation, joy, shock. Erwin didn't know which word to use to describe the sensation taking over him as he looked at his phone. A cocktail of these emotions circling in his veins, making his blood rush and his heart pulse so loudly in his ear. 

QueenLee had noticed him.

Levi had noticed him.

Well, Alfie had been noticed. Erwin's emoticon showed a cute little golden retriever in his puppy stage. Still, the gorgeous and sensual make-up artist had seen his supportive message and just for that Erwin felt like he won at the lottery. It was unusual even rare for Levi to answered messages back and among the panoply of notes, he answered back at Alfie? Truly exceptional. 

***

It was an understatement to say Erwin was glowing when he joined his friends at the small and homey coffee shop. Mike and Nana glanced at each other bemused as a grinning from ear-to-ear Erwin approached their table, greeting them a little bit too cheerfully and then taking a sit in front of the long-time couple. 

"Hi, Erwin you look..." Nana tried, her slender hands gesturing towards Erwin. "Gre-"

"Scary." Mike intercepted her and he growled as he received a hard nudge from his wife. 

"Thanks, Nana." Erwin addressed a trenchant but amusing look at Mike.

"Mike has always been a little too straight forward." The young woman explained before taking a sip of her English breakfast tea.

"Yeah, and I am sure my childhood best friend isn't aware of this." The giant man pointed, sarcasm dripping all over his words. "By the way, it is good to see you, man." 

"Yeah, especially like this," Nana added fondly, ignoring Mike's ironic remark. "You look great Erwin. Really." 

Erwin offered them a small smile. He understood where their concern came from and he felt sorry they had experienced him in his worst state. 

"Thanks, Nana. I am doing great." Erwin affirmed her truthfully. 

"When we moved to the countryside, I thought you would blame me for taking away your best friend." Nana chuckled lightly.

"No, I just supposed you had enough of me being the third wheel." 

"Come on." Mike made a face and he removed his arm from behind Nana's chair and bent forward to talk a little closer to Erwin. "You would have been there during our honeymoon, it wouldn't even bother Mrs right there." He pointed at Nana with his head. 

Nana rolled her eyes. "I am sure my love, it wouldn't even stop you if I was anyway. But Erwin you should come to visit us." 

"I will. Soon hopefully. I have been quite busy with work." He half-lied. He raised a hand, asking the waitress nearby to come.

"I feel like you are not telling us everything. I can smell it." The giant man showed by tapping his nose.

"I can't hide you anything." 

\---

Erwin settled the four full plastic bags on the tiny kitchen island. It has been a while since he made a proper list of groceries. Generally, he would just grab the missing items in his kitchen, such as his beer, beloved pack of crips, cereal for the morning and some takeaway on his way back from for dinner. But here he was with a fridge full of fruits and vegetables, healthy juices, yoghurts, low-fat food. Erwin studied his fridge after rearranging it and throwing away all the junk and out-of-date packages, proud of himself for starting to take care of himself.

But this change was not a coincidence. 

A few weeks ago, while Erwin was binging Levi's content, he fell onto this video where Levi revealed his daily routine, from morning to evening. And he was surprised, to discover that the young man had a rather healthy lifestyle. He was not smoking nor drinking, went to the gym four times a week. His breakfast consisted of a regime of fruits and all sort of seeds mixed in oatmeal and the young man was an adept of weird green smoothies. Erwin truly seemed confused at first because Levi looked more like the type who would smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, drink and party until the morning like any sane 25 years old and not the kind to be at the bed at 9 p.m to have eight hours of beauty sleep. Then Erwin remembered that the pale man was a make-up artist and he understood quickly when Levi revealed that his skin was sensitive and it was to easy for him to break out. He needed to have a clean lifestyle to have the best skin condition. Not that Erwin cared about his skin nor his beauty sleep, still he was drinking every word of Levi. 

So naturally, Erwin followed Levi's advice. He listed every step of his routine into his notebook and registered the links of Levi's favourites receipts.

Erwin clicked on one of his favourite storytimes while he was making dinner. He placed the dull grey laptop on the top of the kitchen island, on the loudspeaker. He almost burned himself as he let a guttural laugh when he heard Levi counting the story of his worst date for the umpteenth time.

"...But this guy was so disgusting." Levi made a face and Erwin couldn't help to think that he was so damn cute when he was pissed. "His flat was ugh. I cannot even describe without wanting to throw up." 

"Long story short after the disastrous dinner that I had to pay besides the fact that HE invented me." Levi rolled his eyes. " I decided to get the fuck out there and I asked Farlan to pick me up." 

"I know you, annoying asses will ask in the comments why I followed him to his flat." Erwin placed the mix grilled vegetables next to the plain white rice and lean meat on his plate. He observed the screen waiting for the explanation he already listened a dozen times. 

"I was starving for the D." 

Erwin burst out laughing, deep and rich. The way Levi let this out so naturally and unashamed, was refreshing and comical. "However there are things I cannot bring myself to ignore and one of them is filthiness." Erwin juggled with his plate and laptop before settling both on the dining table. 

"It is my pet peeve, I mean my mom is obsessed with dust and I have inherited this in my genes. I definitely know that the standard for cleanliness is not the same for everyone but at least your place shouldn't smell like rotten rats when you are trying to get inside someone's pants." Levi looked straight at the camera like it should be obvious to anyone. Erwin took his notebook to scrambled the new information. 

\---

When he lay on his bed that night, he went through Levi's profile, checking for new content as per usual. He was excited to notice that the man had uploaded three new pictures. He looked at them one by one. The first image was of Levi bare face basking on the sunlight, half of his face was covered by the sleeve of his dark hoodie, the focus inevitably on his eyes. Erwin zoomed on the picture and he exhaled. The lighting brought out the silver of his eyes and it was just breathtaking. The second picture showed a sleeping big black cat and if Erwin remembered well its name was Titan. He scrolled down, to the last image and Erwin's heart stopped. He surged onto a sitting position, and brought the phone closer to his face, ignoring the brightness of his screen burning the retina of his eyes.

The picture presented a soft-looking Levi, in his regular oversized dark hoodie, his short arms tightening around the neck of someone. A man with dirty blond hair. Their faces dangerously close, eyes gazing at each other fondly, mouth almost touching... 

The face of the man couldn't be seen clearly so he looked at the caption even though he knew deep down who it was. 

"Surprise bitches? I know you are all shocked, but yeah me and Farlan are kinda official out now. You will know everything this Friday with our dumb couple tag. See ya." 

His throat tightened so hard, a taste of acid and disappointment in his mouth. He looked down at the comments, searching for some empathy among his internet peers. 

"I Kneeeew it! I am soooo happy."

"The cutest couple." 

"Mom and dad." 

"You two were kinda obvious..." 

"MARRY NOW !!!." 

Erwin passed a harsh and frustrating hand on his face. And for the first time, he was dreading Friday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while guys.  
> Here is the chapter. I hope you will like it.  
> Thanks for the comments.^^

Friday crashed like an unexpected wave. But Erwin has been drowning in a sea of paperwork since the beginning of the week. Focusing his energy on solving problems, establishing strategies and figuring out the best outcomes for his clients. Everything else was secondary, including his health, mental state and...heartache. Surrounded by numbers and logical information Erwin was in his element, in his little bubble where everything made sense with logical thinking. A defence mechanism. Erwin has been using this same tactic since he could read and count on his hands. The company of books and clever games much more appreciated than the mockeries of his comrades. Once again, he demonstrated his ability to confront his feelings by avoiding them, thus ignoring anything relating to Levi; pictures, videos, posts alike. It might have seemed childish but that was how Erwin prevented himself to feel too much. Because, yes he was hurt. As ridiculous as it sounded he was. Because Levi became a part of his routine, someone he could see at the end of the day, someone he could listen to, laugh with. Erwin didn’t think much of this new unsettling hobby because he realised he needed this. He needed to feel close to someone. That is human nature after all. He might have become emotionally too attached to someone he didn’t even know. But Erwin couldn’t help but feel like he knew him somehow, feeling a connection.

Levi seemed so close but so far the same time. 

Erwin went home that night with takeaway bags full of things not recommended if you want to live a long life. But he craved fat, greasy taste in his mouth so he indulged himself to quieten the inside beast that was his growling stomach. He had seen the notification of Levi’s well-awaited video and just overlooked it, focusing on the important files in front of him. But now that he was home, alone and empty despite a full stomach, it was way more difficult to ignore it more. 

Because, well he missed him, he missed Levi’s stories, his dangerous eyes, his flat tone of voice, his crude sense of humour, his beautiful face. 

Erwin sighed, the dilemma inside of him making his head spin. And without any further thoughts, he retrieved his computer and placed it in front of him. He clicked on the red notification which signals the release of a new video.

Erwin’s inside melt because Levi just looked as beautiful as ever in the video thumbnail. He had a full makeup look on which consisted of dark lipstick almost black and purple eyeshadows. The combination of colours intensifying his silver eyes and pale skin. Erwin had difficulties to swallow but his inside hardened when in the same picture he saw this new enemy next to his beautiful man. He started the video with a hesitant finger. 

 

"Some of you were shook, others knew from the beginning. If you want to know more about our couple, stay tuned." Levi introduced with his sultry low voice, his unimpressed look in place and Erwin mood lightened a little more. This was so Levi. His tousled hair boyfriend though next to him was way more expressive displaying the biggest smile on his face. 

After the opening song -that Erwin would sing along to if he had the heart to, the image switched to the couple "Ok, so I asked you guys to send us some questions. Because I knew you were nosy people and we picked ten to answer." 

"What my baby is trying to say is that we are happy to share bits of our couple life with you. Right?" The so-called Farlan said, a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Yeah right. Whatever." Levi accepted deadpanned.

The taller man just laughed at Levi’s expression. "So what is the first question?"

The Q&A session began in a light mood with simple questions such as what are their favourite colour, food, activities, movies. Erwin was not surprised to learn that Levi adores horror theme movies because of his gothic tendencies and his dark thematic pictures in general. Erwin also noticed that he had pierced ears and wore skulls shaped earrings. Farlan looked like he wasn’t fond of this type of movies but he indulged for Levi’s sake. Still, the couple had many things in common, such as their love for art, and rock, punk music. They do also share the same sense of fashion: grungy and rock which consisted of torn clothes, skin-tight pants and biker boots, minus the make-up for Farlan obviously. 

They answered playfully, teasing each other a lot, glancing fondly at one another.

"It is not really a thing but Farlan has always been there for me." Levi began with a light curve at the corner of his mouth, as he was answering another question. "He had my back in the most difficult times: when I was fighting with my mom, dealing with problems at school... He stuck by my side even when I was the shittiest person ever." 

"You were such a dick sometimes babe." Farlan removed a strand from Levi's forehead. 

Levi sighed. “I know but I was dealing with so many issues. Plus, I didn’t know who I was, I was so confused.”

“Truthfully, I didn’t mind that much because I liked you a lot already. If not, I would have left for sure.” Farlan pointed at his head and made a circle. 

“Are you implying that I was crazy?” Levi asked defiantly. 

“No, not at all,” Farlan smirked at him and Levi answered with a glare straight out hell. 

“Aww babe, don’t be mad.” Farlan placed an arm around the makeup artist shoulders and attempted a kiss. But he was stopped soon enough with a hand in front of his face. 

"Don't. Make-up." Levi reminded Farlan pointing at his dark lips. The dirty blonde sighed exaggeratedly and fell back on his chair, he settled for a hand on Levi's knee. Levi went on with the questions, reading them from his phone. "Who is the most annoying?"

Farlan looked straight at the camera. "Everyone, did you notice how he rejected me? That is you. You are the most annoying one." 

Levi rolled his eyes. "That is not what I hear when I put on make-up just for you." 

A long silence. 

"Yeah, that is right." Farlan agreed "But-".

Levi snorted. "But you are right, it is me. I can be such a pain in the ass sometimes with all my rules like no kissing when I have full makeup on.” He looked at Farlan with apologising eyes.

"Still it is worth it. Look at you." Farlan gestured at Levi, a proud smile on his face. "You look so damn good." He licked his lips.

"Shut up." Levi's face heated up, darkening, even more, his pinkish cheeks. "Read the next question." He ordered still fluttered. 

Farlan took the offered device. "How did you realised you had feelings for each other?" 

Levi hummed pensively. "That is a great question-" 

"For me it was simple.” Farlan interjected. “I knew it from the beginning but we were such good buddies I didn't want to ruin our friendship." Farlan shrugged. 

"Oh. That is interesting. For me, I would say that it happened gradually. The more we spent time together, the more I developed feelings for you. But it was way later when you told me how you felt that I realized well shit... I feel the same. Yeah, something cheesy like this." 

"I was shitting myself when I told you.”

"You looked more like you needed to take a dump."

"Yeah, more accurate."

"How long have you been dating?" Levi took his phone back to read the next question

"Humm three years?" 

"Yes, almost three." 

"And the last question. Why did you decide to open up about your relationship?" 

Farlan grabbed Levi’s available hand before explaining. “Well, Levi started his channel more or less at the same time we started dating. And he really wanted to focus exclusively on his makeup career and nothing else. So we decided to keep it low to also avoid bringing more negativity. You know guys how many hating comments Levi got especially in his debut but now we just don’t care anymore. Right babe?”

“Yeah, that is right, if you have a damn problem with us, you can either get the fuck out of here or suck my dick.” 

“Maybe we can try to avoid the ‘suck my dick’ part. Just saying.” The dirty blonde mumbled.

"Ok guys, that’s it. I hope you enjoyed this little Q&A session. I know we couldn't answer all the questions but we promise we will do another one in the future. But no need to cry because a lot of surprises are coming." Levi posed and watched his boyfriend expectantly. 

"Oh. Yeah and don't forget you are a Queen!" Farlan said it with a lot of sass, imitating Levi’s style. 

“I hate you.” The video finished with a snorting Levi. 

Erwin felt like he went on a damn rollercoaster. His emotions were all over the place. On one hand, he was glad to see Levi being like this, sweet and glowing with happiness even if it was subtle. Levi seemed like he really liked this Farlan guy and Erwin was glad to learn more information about Levi, to see him being comfortable and open. On the other hand, it was killing him to see him so close to another man. Three years? Really? That was quite long. One thing for sure Farlan was a lucky man. But the most important thing for Erwin was that Levi was doing great, it made him a little less bitter about this whole boyfriend thing. And a pang of guilt settled in him. This week he couldn't send any supporting message to Levi because of his damn pride. He needed to make up for it. 

“You two form a lovely couple.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up guys!
> 
> I am so sorry for the wait. I have been extremely busy with work and on top of that, I was travelling and going out. A lot lol. 
> 
> Anyway, I am back now and I will try to update more frequently!
> 
> Thanks again for the lovely comments, each time I receive one, it makes my day honestly! 
> 
> Hope you will like the new chap x

How does it feel like to be in love with someone you can't see, can't talk to, can't touch? How does it feel like to see the person you wish you could cherish being taken care of by someone else? 

It feels like being on a sinking ship and not being able to prevent it from hitting the bottom. It feels like letting yourself drowning without being able to move and fight back for your life. It feels like having your lungs burning with salty water slowly infiltrating inside of you as you suffocate for air.

Erwin could tell a thing or two about that as his throat tightened up each time Levi made an appearance with Farlan. And each time, it became harder to breathe. He honestly thought he could do this. He thought he would be able to look at Levi batting his eyes at Farlan, sending him coded messages that only Farlan could decipher. He thought would be able to stand Farlan being all over Levi as well, desperate for kisses, hugs and attention. But the truth is that being the witness of this tormenting game between these two lovebirds made him want to disappear in a hole and no longer see the light of the day. 

Erwin was aware he wasn't required to go through this misery. But he made a promise to Levi that he would support him no matter what. And this meant watching his content and sending him encouraging notes even though he hadn't received a reply since the first time he did that. 

Naturally, what was supposed to be cute and funny videos of Levi and his boyfriend, ended up being a distressing moment for Erwin. But still, the glow on Levi's face was worth all the discomfort in the world. Though his ship was located in the deepest part of the ocean, in a cold and dark area, sinking surely with his hope and desire of being the one embracing Levi's delicate frame. 

His salvation happened in the form of guilty and sinful thoughts in the darkness and privacy of his bedroom. There, Levi was all his and only his. The frantic movement of his hand uncontrollable as he pictured the makeup artist straddling him, an oversized shirt on, teasing him with an uncovered shoulder, his smooth and milky legs an invitation for Erwin's imposing hands to grab, as he slowly deepened on him, engulfing Erwin completely in his delicious hotness. Erwin's hand would fasten as he imagined Levi's cat-like eyes staring at him, playful and half-lidded. He would reach his peak as he imagined the softness of Levi's abuse lips smudged with red against his. The erotic images taking him over the edge as he would spill on his sweaty and warm hand. The shame was the most vivid after the remaining of his fantasies materialized in the sticky liquid, feeling the urge to wash the disgraceful act away. As strong as the guilt was, he couldn't stop this, because it was the only moment where Levi would look at him with the same loving eyes as he would with Farlan. Even though, it was the creation of a lonely man's imagination. 

Until a few weeks later. 

It started as a simple video. Levi showed his new everyday makeup routine. After applying the final touch on his lips with a nude gloss, Levi made an announcement. "I have been thinking about it for a while and you all have been asking me this for ages too." He paused and looked straight at the camera, a serious air on his beautiful face before dropping the bomb. " I am doing fucking a meetup!" His voice was flat but you could see the excitement in his eyes. "You all have been so supportive and I wanted to thank you for this. I am doing it in collaboration with my fave makeup brand, they will help me organize the meeting. And of course, a lot of gifts are waiting for you guys. So don't be shitty and come, I want to meet all my Queens!" Levi finished the video with the details of the date and place of the meetup. Erwin hastened himself to scribble the information on his notebook. It was scheduled in the biggest mall of the city, a month from now.

Erwin told himself that maybe he would be able to float back to the surface and see the light.

That night Erwin stared at the Levi's picture he saved as his phone background. The one with Levi in his oversized hoodie, his eyes intense and face soft, daydreaming about their meeting. He imagined this moment time and time again, knowing what he would say word by word but now that it was really happening, Erwin couldn't think of a proper thing to say. He wasn't sure he would be able to utter a word if Levi would look at him this way. 

Erwin then was hit with a brilliant idea, he would tell Levi everything weighing on his heart in a sincere letter and offer it to him alongside a present. Erwin remembered Levi mentioning that he loved scented candles. He had scribbled the flavour he liked the most in his notebook. 

Erwin's plan wasn't trying to hit on him, not at all. As hard as he would want Levi to be his, he was aware that the make-up artist was already taken and he respected that. He was a man of principles though he believed. Nevertheless, he just wanted to show Levi appreciation and support.

The day of the meetup arrived fast enough to Erwin's pleasure. He had been anticipating it for the whole month, writing five different letters before he found that his thoughts were perfectly expressed in the fifth paper. He bought the lavender-scented candle thirteen days before the meetup and wrapped it delicately in a golden package. 

Erwin headed to the mall an hour before the start of the event. It was on a Saturday and the crowded place didn't lessen Erwin's anxiety. He decided to ease his nerves by window shopping but it just couldn't be helped. As he checked his watch for the umpteenth time that day, his already sweaty palms became moister as he realized it was starting soon. The place of the meetup was supposed to be in the makeup section and Erwin considered going through the perfume aisles and splash himself with some fragrance before heading to the event as he was feeling too hot in his perfectly ironed white shirt and blue vest.

As he looked at the expensive glass bottles, he noticed groups of people heading towards the make-up area which was situated not so far away from the fragrances. He checked the time on his leather strap watch and widen his eyes. He had fifteen minutes left. Erwin hurried and followed a group of young women he caught talking about the makeup artist. 

He wasn't ready for what was coming. 

He fell onto a crowd of at least a hundred of people gathered before a raised makeshift platform. Erwin felt suddenly out of place when he realized, he was diving in a sea of mostly teenage girls. 

With his hand clutching at a paper gift bag he bought specially to hold Levi's letter and candle, he attempted to make his way near the makeshift platform, nudging the girls so they could let him move freely, apologizing for bumping against some of them, catching glares and weird looks as his imposing stature disturbed a lot.

At some point, Erwin stopped as he realized he was the centre of attention of the people clustered near him. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to stand at the front. He was easily the tallest person in the crowd and moreover, he was far from blending into the audience, his casual but business attire a contrast to the colourful and edgy looks these young women were displaying. He turned back, feeling too self-conscious. Anyone would with a group of teenage girls staring at you as if you killed their favourite boyband member.

Erwin sighed his frustration as he wondered how will be able to give Levi his gift being this far away from the scene. He stood back patiently, thinking of a strategy to counter the crowd until a collective scream brought him back to the present moment. Intrigued, his gaze travelled around him and he realized everyone was looking towards something. Erwin followed their gazes. 

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't hear anymore. His vision blurred his surroundings and the only clear thing was the man standing on the platform. 

Levi. 

Erwin's body was paralyzed as he drank in the sight of the most beautiful being he has ever seen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chap but before reading it please take a look at the amazing drawing of Levi that of Tomo-ezra did for me on tumblr: https://tomo-ezra.tumblr.com/post/186513179409/your-fave-bad-bitch-levi-apparently-i-am-in-the  
> I am so touched, it was the first time someone did a fanart from one of my fic. Thanks <3 
> 
> Once again guys thank you for the lovely comments!

He had been starstruck. 

His mouth gradually dropping as the object of his fantasies walked on the stage, right in front of him. An overwhelming feeling transcended his static body as he realized that he was in the same place, same space and breathing the same air as Levi. 

From head-to-toe, made of flesh and blood, a living being with probably an exquisite scent and the softest skin, standing a few feet away from Erwin and far from the pixel representation observed through his computer limited frame.

The tightness of Erwin's throat made it difficult to participate in the loud cheers. A clear contrast from the girl with short pink hair standing next to him certainly competing on ruining her vocal chord. Erwin couldn't blame her.

Levi was there and he was everything Erwin has ever wanted and beyond. Absolutely everything.

The blonde observed him in all its form, a tiny and delicate frame which contradicted with a strong and assertive aura. He was way smaller than Erwin had anticipated and his heart melted more if it even was possible. Erwin's gaze couldn't resist but travel his lean and slightly muscular thighs magnified by skin-tight leather pants and high-heeled boots. Without them, he would be even tinier. Erwin had a view of his perky ass from the side, as Levi travelled the stage to position himself at the centre of it. Erwin's intense gaze followed the movement of the tight curve with attention and felt suddenly very uncomfortable in his pants. He breathed out, attempting to calm his wild thoughts. 

Something else caught his attention then. Levi was wearing a crimson jacket matching the colour of his lips. The fashion piece was let open, exposing a black shirt so low that it revealed a part of his milky chest. Erwin's mind wandered again, letting his gaze dropped half-lidded. How warm would be the skin underneath? He had to rearrange the position of his crotch, carefully putting it back in place while eyeing for unwanted witnesses. He caught eyes with the pink-haired girl and was chilled by how cold it was. Erwin coughed to divert attention from his embarrassment. He prayed he would be able to control himself until the end of the show, preferring to avoid being arrested for inappropriate public behaviour. 

"Damn, I can't believe so many Queens came today!" Erwin had his ears attacked once more as the crowd responded collectively. Levi's generally stoic expression was replaced by genuine surprise, his dark eyes and red lips giving him a more dramatic effect. Erwin was captivated by how striking Levi was in real life. Videos and pictures couldn't make justice to his other-worldly beauty. 

He spoke on the micro once more, "They told me I couldn't cuss but fucking shit!" 

This was so Levi.

"Well before starting, I would like to thank our sponsor for organizing the meetup." He gestured at the huge poster behind him representing the last collection of the brand he has been endorsing on his social media. "You know I have been using their products for years now and I couldn't be more grateful." 

"As I told you, five of My Queens will be able to go home with packages from the latest collection." The audience was so receptive, literally roaring at every of Levi's words. Erwin felt a swell of pride taking over him as he looked at all the happy faces around him. Levi was that awesome. 

At one point, Levi's eyes travelled the audience and Erwin swore their gaze met, even if it lasted one-tenth of a second. The realisation that maybe Levi had seen him sparked a firework of joy in Erwin's stomach and he couldn't wait to properly gaze in his silver eyes. 

He had been thinking about this the whole night, whirling over and over scenarios in his head, all of them regurgitating the same key elements in which Erwin was this confident and charming man, showcasing true alpha qualities that would win over the makeup artist's heart, eliminating competition and potential opponent and letting natural selection do its job.

His good look was his best asset and it played a significant role for his past relationships, acting as a cloudy barrier hiding his painfully bland personality and total lack of confidence at first.

He swore he wouldn't hit on Levi. But it would be a fool to not even try. 

Erwin redirected his focus to the man on the stage, waiting patiently and trying to enjoy Levi's presence and he wasn't disappointed. Levi was so...Levi, hilarious without even trying, he was the queen of eye-roll and sarcastic remarks. His body language screamed seduction and Erwin's eyes glinted each time the man winked or blow kisses to the audience. Erwin was happy to notice that his online personality translated so well in real life but most of all, what Erwin liked the most was that he was still extremely caring. When the winners were announced and went on the stage to received their makeup prizes, Levi was so sweet to them. 

One of the girls had an extremely touching speech about how Levi helped her revealed her real self, explaining her struggles with self-harm and self-esteem for years before discovering the channel of the makeup artist. And the young man just lost it, failing to contain the surge of emotions. Erwin fought hard the urge to shove away everyone standing between him and Levi and running to tighten his arms around him. The look of Levi hurt him deep and standing there useless, killed him. Then, like a knight in shining armour, a guy jumped on the stage from nowhere and replicate the same act Erwin was dying to do. 

"Ohh Farlan is such a cute boyfriend." 

"Couple goals omg." 

Erwin gritted his teeth, his palm tightened around the paper bag gift unconsciously. He didn't recall Levi mentioning that the boyfriend would be there. But he would be also delusional to think he wouldn't. Erwin's heart pinched at the display of affection, probably never going to get used to it. Farlan waited patiently for Levi to regain his composure before kissing the top of his head and leaving the stage as if nothing had happened.

"I love this man so much." 

Ad hammer blow on Erwin's barely mended heart. 

"I am gonna stop being a mess already because I didn't spend an hour to look like a baddy to sabotage it all with an emotional turmoil." Levi tapped on his face delicately to dry the few tears that escaped. 

Levi talked some more about his future projects and informing that something big was coming. It piqued Erwin's interest, wondering what it could be. 

Soon enough, the part that Erwin anticipated for weeks since he discovered the man's channel was coming. "As I said before, I want to personally get close to you, to my Queens. So if you want to tell me how I am the greatest influencer or if you think I am shitty just come over there."

It was Erwin's chance. 

Levi stayed on the platform while the security guards made sure that those who wanted to have a personal interaction with the makeup guru were lining up. As soon as Levi announced the face-to-face session, Erwin felt the ground under his feet shaking. It seemed like he wasn't the only one exciting about talking to the beauty guru, because a horde of energised teenagers crushed him from every side, trying to be the first to get their moment with Levi. The experience reminded Erwin of an animal documentary he saw about hyenas chasing their prey. 

He tried as best as he could to make it to the line up as well, thinking about everything he has done for this moment to happen, all the energy and the time he dedicated to this man, the love and the admiration he had for him. From where he was Erwin could see Levi already talking, hugging and taking pictures with the few lucky people who made it. 

A hit on his left arm, a brief moment of surprise and then the slow realisation that the bag containing Levi's gift was no longer secured in his hand. 

Panic. 

"Excuse-me I-", it was still too dense around him to see anything and being pushed from every angle didn't help him to find the missing bag. It took a few minutes for the crowd around him to fade but for Erwin, it seemed like it took an eternity. As soon as he could move freely again he kneeled on the marble floor, searching. 

Erwin perceived the precious package a few feet away from him and he gasped when he saw the state of the bag. It was completely torn apart, an innocent victim of ruthless and indifferent trampling. Erwin scanned inside of the package. The candle had been saved by its cardboard packaging but Erwin wasn't sure of the actual inside damage. He then looked for the letter. Erwin's forehead creased. He turned the torn bag over, emptying it on the floor but nothing. The letter wasn't there. His heart started beating so fast it might have exploded. He got down on all fours. It shouldn't have gotten too far away, he thought as his eyes scanned the floor. 

"Once again thank you guys for coming for this first meetup. It was very special for me to meet all of Queens today. You were all so fucking amazing! Please wait for the upcoming video this week and all the news coming. Take care of yourself and don't forget you are a Queen! See ya!" 

It was with the deepest sorrow in his eyes that Erwin observed the man of his dreams slip away from his fingers, his heart in the same state of a torn paper bag.


	7. Chapter 7

The following week, Levi uploaded the backstage video of the event. In this one, we could see a totally different person from the one showing up on stage. 

"Fuck should I really do this?" Levi spat generating an explosion of laughter and the camera focused on two other people seating on what looked like a king-size bed probably from a hotel room. Levi glared at them from his spot on the vanity's chair. Erwin guessed he had just finished getting ready from the full makeup kit in front of him. 

"Don't worry babe, it will be all right." 

Levi glared then at the owner of the voice behind the camera. "Shut up" The comment making the camera shake uncontrollably as another roar of laughers echoed in the room. It seemed like Farlan was not only there to be an encouraging and supportive boyfriend but he was there to follow Levi through the day and to film him.

"Just be yourself, big bro." A young red-head woman reassured the make-up artist. Erwin remembered seeing the young woman on Levi's pictures. It seemed like they had a very close bond, almost brotherly.

"Not sure that is the best advice, Izzy." The other person who looked like they used the thickest oil to style their ponytail replied with a mocking tone. They also seemed familiar. Then it clicked on Erwin's mind that he came across their account while investigating on Levi's potential boyfriend in the past. They were also a makeup artist though not as huge and influential as Levi but they were popular in their niche, having the outstanding ability to transform their face into a multitude of nightmarish creatures such as a lizard, a skeleton and even an alien. It looked very real in a disturbing way. Erwin didn't check their account for too long. 

The video of the meetup revealed bits of the events, switching from excited fans chanting Levi's name to highlights of Levi's appearance on the scene, showing him interacting with fans and doing his speech, displaying some funny and cute moments. Then, after showing accelerated footage of him meeting with the fans, the video slowed down to a normal pace and the atmosphere shifted completely. We found Levi back in his hotel room, presumably wearing a robe as only his upper body was visible. He had removed his makeup and his hair were falling on his freshly washed face. Sweet and luscious.

"So guys it is two in the morning." He started before offering the cutest yawn. "I feel like my body doesn't respond to shit anymore and everyone fell asleep already." Levi glanced to his right side, looking at something outside of the camera angle. "I am tired as fuck myself but I just wanted to thank you so much for today." He paused, seeming like he was trying to translate his thoughts into coherent sentences. "When I started this channel... I never thought it would become this huge and today I have so many opportunities and doors opening for me... I am literally realising all my dreams and this, because of you guys." Levi's eyes widened as if he just remember something crucial and he grabbed a bag from the ground. "Oh and I received sooo many gifts. Someone even brought me my favourite Japanese tea and look. Look at all these letters." He showed a bag full of them. "This is fucking insane and thoughtful...I will make sure to read them all I swear. Thank you again for today, it was so fucking intense and amazing. Love you and don't forget you are a Queen." He finished with his signature kiss. 

Erwin really thought he was over the fact that he couldn't meet him and give him his gifts. But Levi mentioning that he had received a ton of other letters that he promised to read made him want to facepalm himself. It stung him a little bit for sure. Until this day, Erwin had no idea where that letter disappeared but his first guess would be the mall trashcan. Still, Erwin couldn't be happier to have seen the man that he imagined in so many ways. To be able to see him with his own eyes was a blessing, a dream too good to be true. 

***

Erwin unfolded the paper package from the sandwich he bought at his usual spot next to his office. He took a hungry bite of the double barbecue chicken sandwich before checking his phone with his free hand. Erwin always took the opportunity to browse social media and check on the last news during his lunch break. Sometimes going as far as watching videos with his earphones on. He clicked on Levi's account as he chewed a mouthful piece of his savoury collation. But then Erwin slowed his chewing movements as he realized that the makeup guru hadn't updated for a few days now and let the disappointment take over him. Maybe Levi was taking a break from social media. But Erwin just couldn't shake that uneasy feeling that something was off and then something caught his eyes.

"How did I even start following such a cunt like you." 

Erwin read the comment over and over again before the words started to make sense in his mind and then, his blood started to boil. He dropped the sandwich, gripped his phone with both hands, uncaring about the greasy stains he would certainly put on his screen. He was ready to teach this disrespectful and uneducated troll a lesson. That was the plan, when he realized that the comments section was filled with remarks as vile and nasty from one another. 

-" You are so fucking disappointing." 

-" How can you preach loving and accepting yourself when you are yourself so judgmental? Hypocrisy at its finest." 

\- "I knew you were a bitch from the beginning." 

\- "Ugly inside and outside smh."

\- "Dumb faggot." 

\- "The least you could do is owning your mistakes and fucking apologize."

\- "Son of a bitch." 

Erwin literally jolted from his seat attracting curious eyes around him from the other people trying to have a peaceful and quiet lunch. He silently apologized and focused back on his phone, seating slowly back on his chair. One question came to his mind: why the sudden hate? Levi was literally the sweetest Erwin had ever known. This was unfathomable. This wasn't right.

A quick research of Levi's name on the search bar provided Erwin all his answers. 

"QueenLee whose real name is Levi Ackerman came under fire for crude insensitive comments he posted on social media in his younger days. Fans found problematic tweets while browsing into Levi Ackerman's past account. While The makeup artist deleted this specific account long time before starting his official beauty channel, screenshots of his past degrading comments have been saved and resurfaced lately on social media. While some tweets can be considered "playful" exchanged between friends, some of the problematic posts are really serious as it touches the subject of consensuality, biphobia, transphobia and even racism..." 

"This girl's whole video should be titled how to look like a transman (In reference to a popular makeup artist video.)

"I saw a really cute guy today. Dunno if he is gay but I am sure I can change his mind...whether he wants it or not." 

"I don't trust bisexual people, like how the fuck you don't know what you like? Gross." 

"You really need to have very light skin to pull off dark lipstick...Just saying." 

Erwin didn't even go all the way to the end of the article, persuaded it was just a big misunderstanding. Levi could never say these awful things, even less writing them on a public platform.

Soon enough the scandal took over social media and Levi's name was everywhere, associated with anger, disappointment and disgust. The internet outburst giving the perfect opportunity to trolls and bigots to pour their hatred in a malicious and spiteful way, taking pleasure to participate in Levi's public lynching. 

His blue eyes couldn't help but scan each comment he came across. Some of them were very alarming -Levi had been sent death threats- Erwin couldn't let that happen. 

"Levi is a genuine and sweet person. He would never say these awful things. He possesses such a big heart and tries to help people around him. This can't be true." Erwin typed trying to put some sense into these naive idiots. But he was quickly answered by these tireless trolls. 

"What does it feels like to lick the ass of an insensitive cunt?" 

Erwin stayed unfazed. "Talking this way won't strengthen your arguments." He replied, purposely not taking the bait. 

"Whatever weirdo. Levi is doomed." 

While the scandal created a boisterous storm all over internet platforms, Levi's only answer was complete silence. Erwin sought information about his whereabouts into his friends and boyfriend's accounts and profiles but they were as mute. 

The scandal took a serious turn the moment Levi's sponsors decided to drop him, including the biggest deal he had with the makeup brand that organized the meet-up event, stating that Levi's words were in no way a reflection of the company's values and beliefs and that it was the reason they decided to part ways. 

***

Erwin downed half the cup of dark and hot liquid on his desk. His eyes trying to focus on the files in front of him, without much success. He had been suffering from insomnia lately and couldn't find a proper way to fall asleep before dawn, browsing on social media and looking for a sign of his beloved makeup artist. It had been a week and the only thing Levi did was to disable his comments section. Erwin would have done the same honestly because he wasn't sure he would have been able to handle the insane amount of hatred the man was receiving daily. 

Two knocks on the door reminded Erwin of his surroundings and that he still had work to do and appointments to attend. "Erwin, your next client is there." a muffled voice could be heard from behind the wooden door of his office. Erwin checked his watch it was already 3 p.m., realizing he hadn't accomplished much at all that day. He really had to pull himself together if he didn't want to fall to far behind in his schedule.

He took another sip of his cup before standing up, a last warm encouragement before going back to serious matters.

"Thanks, Pat-"

"Erwin, this is Mr Ackerman, the cosmetic brand client." 

Erwin felt like the blood rushed to his head too quickly as his eyes fell onto a small brunette. A very small brunette. He choked on his saliva as the very small and very familiar brunette retrieved the oval shade he was wearing, displaying eyes Erwin's had dreamed of for months. 

"Hi, Mr Smith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-dam! Can we really talk about influencers/Youtubers without a scandal? I don't think so lol.
> 
> I kid you not I struggled so much with writing this chapter. I had a serious writer's block, I think it was due to the topic and my own insecurities. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy. 
> 
> Ah and sorry for any mistakes as English is not my native language. 
> 
> See ya soon!


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi, Mr Smith." A low, suave voice that Erwin could recognize anywhere. A stare that could bring anyone to his knees, a face that was printed in his dreams for weeks. 

Erwin took a moment to observe the young man and Erwin's heart constricted so hard, he couldn't breathe properly anymore. 

This couldn't be real, right? 

After the failure of the meeting, which Erwin had to digest for a long time, he believed that his only chance of being in the same room of the young man he couldn't stop thinking about was close to none. But here, he was perfect and beautiful as ever in front of Erwin. 

“Erwin?”He met the slightly worried look of his co-worker before he realized he had been staring at Levi a bit too long to be considered appropriate nor professional.

Erwin cleared his throat before mumbling in a rapid tone “Um…uh yea- yes please come in.” He left enough pace for the man to enter and as he did, he could feel the weight of a heavy glare before his unexpected client stepped into the small office. Erwin wished at that moment, a hole would materialize beneath him and engulfed him entirely.

He offered a lopsided smile to his co-worker that was answered with a cocked eyebrow before shutting the door. Then, he posed, facing the wooden opening for long secondes, praying it would be enough for him to halt his shaking limbs and agitated heart. He felt like he was losing control of his body and he wasn't far from away losing his mind as well. Behind him was his precious influencer, the man he shared so much with, without even him knowing. The man that gave him a reason to look forward to the end of the week, to come home at the end of the day, to look forward to a future. 

Erwin sighed heavily, so many questions where looming over him, missing pieces scattered around him and an enigma in human form was waiting for him. He didn't have time to find answers so he did what he had to do at that moment. He brushed the layer of sweat gathering on his marked forehead and try to put himself together as much as he could. 

“Alright, Mr Ackerman.” He acknowledged finally, his tone a little bit too over the top and strained to feel genuine. He coughed. "Please, have a seat." He invited with a lower tone. He gestured at one of the two chairs standing in front of his imposing desk. All this with his eyes were fixed everywhere but at Levi.

The dark-haired man slid into one of the wooden chairs and as he did Erwin glanced at him, he was wearing an all-black outfit, unsurprising coming from the makeup artist. He wore simple skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a jacket. Erwin noticed how he made sure to place delicately his matching leather bag on the second chair next to him. The two C logo indicating an infamous French Haute Couture Maison. Erwin found Levi scowling at him and Erwin looked elsewhere quickly. He loosened his tie, thinking it would make it easier to breathe properly. 

Erwin was in the middle of seating as well when he realized something. “Would you like to drink something? Tea…or coffee?” Erwin offered in the most casual way possible but his trembling hands betrayed his discomfort. He just hoped Levi didn't notice that his body was going through a zone of turbulence.

“I am fine. Thanks.” A dry and quick answer.

Well, this question was settled. “Alright.” Erwin sat down finally and decided to get into it. He almost knocked over his own cup of coffee as his shaky hand reached for the stack of files on the corner of his desk. He found Levi’s quickly and mentally kicked himself for not noticing it earlier. He would have if he wasn't so busy quarrelling with people online. “So if I am not mistaken you would like some help to launch your cosmetic brand. Am I right?” He suggested as he flipped through the folder.

“Yeah, that is exactly what I said when I took this appointment.” Levi's flat tone indicated some annoyance and slight urge.

Erwin hummed feeling the irritation coming from the young man. “Alright. Can you tell me more about the business?” Erwin asked his nose so deep into the document, he couldn't even see Levi anymore.

He heard a tongue clicking before a sigh. “Is my face bothering you that much Mr Smith?” 

Erwin lowered the folder.

“Are men wearing makeup so strange for you that you can't even face them properly?” Erwin's eyes widened, realizing what had just happened. “I can’t stand this kind of bullshit.” Levi jumped from his chair, his bag already secure on his arm.

“No!" Erwin dropped the file and stood up abruptly. "I am mean- No, it doesn't bother me. I am really sorry if I offended you, Mr Ackerman." He saw the rage inside Levi's eyes and he wanted to slap himself for making him think that. He knew the influencer's past and was aware of how he had been mistreated and judged about his look for a long time before he was comfortable being completely himself. Erwin wouldn't forgive himself if he made Levi feel that way again. 

Levi stared at Erwin's eyes for a long time before slowly seating back on his chair. Erwin let out a relieved sigh internally and explained himself. "Truthfully, I didn’t look at your documents before this appointment. I feel a little bit embarrassed for not being prepared to help right away. It has absolutely nothing to do with- with your appearance Mr Ackerman.” Erwin offered an apologetic smile.

“Forget about that. I am here because I need some help with my business plan.” Levi moved on quickly. He removed the shades seating on top of his head and flipped his hair on the side. As he does Erwin was overflowed with a delicious perfume, not too sweet, not too strong just enough for him to want to feel it on the source. “I am shitty with math or any calculus…” Levi explained. 

“It is to finance the project?” Erwin hit himself mentally, of course, it was for that. His consultancy agency was made for that purpose.

“Yeah, that is right, initially I was planning to finance a big part myself, but something happened and I lost some of my revenues.” Levi scoffed, a sour feeling in his tone. 

“Alright.” Erwin stared down at the file again because he felt like Levi would know if he watched too much the movement of his delicious glossy mouth. 

“What’s the problem?” Levi arched a perfectly drawn eyebrow. 

“No, there is no problem, I assure you. It is just that I would have to look into your project deeper.” Erwin offered him a confident smile. 

“You think that this file is shitty and I can see it in your face.” Levi was having none of this polite professional crap.

“No, not at all. I see that you already looked for providers and you developed as well the concept and the brand image and that is a good thing. It is way more than what average clients usually do.” The lie slipped into Erwin’s tongue easily. "But they are other important elements that need to be developed and added." Levi nodded and listened attentively to the important points that should be added to the file. "I need those key information if I want to provide my best services, Mr Ackerman." 

Levi paused thinking for a while before uttering the most tender words Erwin had heard for a long time.

“When can I come back then?” 

Erwin got rid of an unnecessary dental appointment to insert Levi in his schedule as soon as possible, meaning next week. Erwin didn't have an ounce of guilt, knowing perfectly that it generally took a few weeks for a client to have a proper appointment. 

“Thank you, Mr Ackerman, for your time.” Erwin offered his hand and Levi took it without hesitation.

“Likewise.” 

***

Erwin looked at his hand that night as he remembered the delicate touch of Levi’s skin. Soft and sweet as he imagined countless time. He had even smelled it when he was left alone in his office to see if his odour stayed printed on his skin.   
It would be an understatement to say that Erwin was unable to focus the rest of the day, trying to process what had just happened. 

It was just magical, unexpected but still enchanting.

He talked to his sweet influencer, they were there seating face to face. He was so close, so so close that Erwin could see every colour on his face properly, the dark of his eyes, the red of his cheeks, the pink of his lips. Levi looked even more divine up close. His feline attitude, his delicate gestures would be the end of Erwin, without even talking about how he tilted his head, showing the expanse of his milky neck, how he stared into your soul with these breathtaking silver eyes, the way his shiny lips moved when he talked with his sultry, low voice. So many things made Erwin uncomfortable, down there, between his legs. He had to adjust himself more than once. However, Erwin was still a man who could control his urges and who was clever enough to know that jumping on the young man right away would bring him more problems than gratification in the long term. Moreover, he couldn't compromise the company's reputation because of his envies to feel the young man over his body. That would be the stupidest thing he could do, especially because Levi was visiting as a client and he had to treat him as such and nothing more. 

Erwin understood quickly that he was trapped.


End file.
